A Letter To The Future/Older Me

Dear future/older me,

 

It’s been awhile (or so to speak), so how are you? Where are you now?

 

I hope you’ve already reached your dreams or if not, still reaching for it and not getting tired of it. Please don’t stop. I wish the world is better in there yet still have the same old empathy for its humanity. And how’s the government in there? I hope we can trust the government now.

 

This letter is full of mad hope and assumptions ‘coz I’ve been thinking of you, and will always be. Wherever you are, I beg you to do what you love! You should have a strong faith in yourself by now.

 

It’s so selfish fo me to ask how’s the world in your time, I should be thinking of your welfare, so… Again, How are you? I hope you still enjoy the same kind of music as I do, and still love reading books ‘coz it’s where you only find hope when others and the rest of the world shut down the light on you. Also please don’t be afraid of needles and the dark now, so you can get a cool tattoo and donate your precious blood to those who need it and so you can sleep in comfort and confidence that the light of the sun will always wake you up.

 

I assume you love yourself better now. You really should. Just a piece of advice; It’s okay to think of yourself first before others at times, it will keep you sane. In line with that, hope you’ve kept your friends especially the ones who believed in you and trusted you. Reach out to them, always care for them, love them.

 

Remember to not let your temper ruin things like what I did. Learn to forgive easily.

 

I also hope that all those sleepless nights paid off; thinking of things we will do, things we have to achieve, things that we shall share to the world, and all of our other fantasies. Sleepless nights full of heartache, thinking of our problems and thinking of people that have hurt us should be gone by now. I know there are still nights that you cry yourself to sleep, and it’s okay. The world is a cruel place and it takes a long time to change it, and people will continue to say shit on you, and you will encounter numerous problems. It’s a constant in our life. Besides, those tears will cleanse your soul.

 

Please do still love writing, reading, and music. Because it will be the only thing we will have when everyone will leave. And it’s our morphine when the pain is too much.

 

It will be our instrument for our ultimate goal: “To change the world for the better” in our own way, and also to heal ourself. So keep writing, keep reading, keep sharing music, keep inspiring others especially the kids.

 

You may get lost in your fantasies and get tired of trying to change what’s around you, it’s okay. Just take a rest but don’t stop. Don’t hesitate to ask for help, you can’t change the world on your own. Ask for help to those people who believes in the same things as you do.

 

And if it doesn’t work, just look back at me and see how far you’ve come. It’ll fuel you. I know you won’t give up. I hope so.

 

By this time, you may be found love. So what does love look like? Does she smell good? Is she like the love we read on books? Is it true that love can be a drug? Does love have long hair like we fantasize before? Does love make you happy? What’s important is you should take care of love.

 

But also don’t forget to look after your sister and your family.

 

Love your messy hair. Love the crack on your nail polish. Love your bed. And continue to find comfort in the rain even if sometimes it makes you feel blue.

 

Like I said, you will encounter numerous problems and will continue to get hurt because of the world, of other people, the wrong decisions you’ve made, and you will get hurt by yourself. We all have demons inside us, and sometimes it’s difficult to defeat that demon. In that kind of situation, there’s only one thing you can do; Accept it. Accept that you have faults and you fucked up.

 

Be vulnerable. Open yourself. That’s the only way to conquer the demon and be connected to the world. Yes, you will continue to get hurt a hundred times, but love a thousand more. Don’t lose hope on humanity and on yourself.

 

I hope you’ve become the hero we wanted for the world. A kind of hero that they don’t depend on but someone who inspires them to take action.

 

You still have a bloody long way, man. Don’t worry about the pain, the sea is always there to make you feel better.

 

I hope you’re not sad anymore. I hope you’re okay now.

 

Please write soon.

 

– Your younger self
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